Fedora, whip, and backpack: Indiana Jones vs. Dora the Exporer

From Magellan to Columbus, the world has known many great explorers. But the two that most exemplify the adventurous spirit of the last century are, of course, Indiana Jones and Dora the Explorer. Standing in the face of the fiercest enemies - Nazis, heart-ripping cults, and a fox named Swiper - these adventurers let nothing stop them from reaching their destination. But which one is the greatest explorer? Initially, it appears to be Jones. Looking at the tools of their trade, Indy is known for his whip, pistol, and his trademarked fedora. Dora is known to carry a map and a backpack. While Dora's may be more practical, it's not nearly as cool. I thought she was supposed to be an explorer, not a lost first grader. Indiana Jones makes split-second choices in life-or-death situations, while Dora can't make any decisions without asking the audience at least three times what she should do. As far as the scope of their adventures go, Indy's feats are far greater. While Dora's half-hour hunt for blueberries was impressive, it doesn't quite have the same ring to it as the Ark of the Covenant or the Holy Grail. But despite the initial reaction, there are some things Dora can do that Dr. Jones can't. For example, Indy always gets himself into situations where he has to kill at least like 10 people just so he doesn't die. Dora, on the other hand, typically gets what she's looking for without having to kill anyone. Usually, she finds a way to cooperate with the characters she meets. She can always stop the devious fox, Swiper, just by repeating "Swiper, no swiping," until he gets sick of hearing her wretched voice. This worked once for Jones ("Sallah, no camels!"), but it isn't a very effective strategy against angry Nazis. Also, if she ever encountered a snake, it would probably be no big deal. Indy, though, would likely pack it up and call it quits at that point. And Dora's writers never decided to incorporate aliens into the plot out of the blue, nor did she ever have to share a screen with the kid from Even Stevens. So that's a plus.
Unfortunately, this doesn't work on Nazis

Despite this, though, the debate was over before it began: Sean Connery is Indy's dad. Game, set, and match. The only way Dora could compete is if her father was either Christopher Walken, Morgan Freeman, or Harrison Ford. Unfortunately for Dora, her father is none of those people, and Harrison Ford is Indiana Jones, so that's a double whammy. A combination of cool as powerful as Connery and Ford is something that no amount of flying saucers or Shia LaBeouf can negate. Fedora > Dora.

PS: While we're on the subject, can you imagine what Indiana Jones would have been like Dora-style? The climax of Henry the Explorer and the Lost Ark would have been Indy looking at the camera saying, "Looking at the Ark will conjure the wrath of God. What should I do? (pause, blinks) Close my eyes! You got it!" followed by a sing-along. What a different place the world would be.
Speaking of juxtaposition